Kanye West is shopping for engagement rings?

Kanye West is shopping for engagement rings?
August 22, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Kanye West

Because Kim Kardashian would never divorce her husband after two months and turn the legal proceedings into a money-grubbing circus of lies, Kanye West was reportedly spotted shopping for engagement rings. If only there was some song about Gold Diggers, perhaps one by Kanye himself, that would sum up what’s happening here. X17 reports …

Kanye West went shopping for wedding bands for girlfriend Kim Kardashian at Cartier in Beverly Hills on Friday. Although he checked out several rings, the rapper ultimately left the jewelry store empty-handed. However, he did pay for something, so he must have ordered a custom ring. We wouldn’t expect anything less from the over-the-top musician. An X17 photographer on the scene said Kanye was eying the biggest rocks the jeweler carried. “Kanye was looking really carefully at wedding bands, like he was making a big decision. And by big, I mean, BIG — the stuff he was looking at was the most expensive, biggest diamonds in the whole store.”

Before we all start assuming that Kanye is about to pre-divorce Kim like a dumbass, we shouldn’t discount the possibility that Kris Jenner set this all up. I mean, at first he’s trying to distance himself from the Kardashian shows, then one day he’s on her show acting all buddy-buddy and then the next day he’s out buying the biggest f**king diamond ring he can find so that the paparazzi can see it? That makes no sense, unless … oh, I figured it out: Kris killed Kanye and brought him back as her zombie minion. Occam’s razor, really.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.