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Justin Bieber vs. Keyshawn Johnson

Justin Bieber vs. Keyshawn Johnson
May 28, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber vs. Keyshawn Johnson

I don’t know much about fighting, but I do know enough to understand that Keyshawn Johnson, a former NFL wide-receiver who stands at 6’4 and weighs 212 lbs., would probably destroy Justin Bieber, the little bitch who sang “Baby” and clocks in at 5’7 and 110 lbs. Not just beat him, but outright destroy him. Which is almost what happened when Justin decided to go joy-riding down their shared residential street and Johnson, worried for his kids, chased him down and chewed him out. Via TMZ

Sources tell us … Keyshawn — a former NFL superstar — had just left a party Sunday night inside of his exclusive gated community in Calabasas (with his child in the car), when Bieber zoomed by in his Ferrari at breakneck speeds. We’re told Keyshawn was furious — feeling Justin could’ve killed someone — so he brought his kid home, then chased after the singer in his Prius (yes, a Prius chasing a Ferrari). When KJ got to Bieber’s pad — he blocked Justin’s Ferrari in the driveway and got out of his car to confront Justin face-to-face … but Justin ran inside of his house and refused to come out. FYI — Keyshawn is 6’4″, 212 lbs … Justin’s about 5’7″, 110 lbs (soaking wet).

Seriously, what a little bitch. He speeds around a residential street putting other peoples’ lives in peril, and when someone finally calls him out he runs and hides in his house while his team deals with it? What a spoiled little bitch. In all seriousness though, Justin should just be thankful that he didn’t actually have to be held accountable for his actions, because Johnson would have just annihilated him. Like, he’d be just bloody smear on his driveway. Justin better thank whoever stepped in to cover his ass, because that’s the only reason Justin isn’t a bloody, pulpy mess stuck to the bottom of Johnson’s shoe.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.