Justin Bieber has a sex tape?!

Yeah, those words up there are happening. Anyway, during a concert, some “personal footage” of Justin Bieber was stolen after someone snatched his and his tour manager’s computer and camera. Was it a sex tape? Probably not — at least I’m hoping not because just GOOD JEEBUS NO. We do not need that to be a thing — but Gawker assumes it is because … actually, now that I rationalize this in my head, that sounds almost feasible. Still, ick.

It’s hard to think of a document of as much magnitude as the fabled Justin Bieber Sex Tape — the Pentagon Papers, maybe? — and it seems unlikely that Bieber would be stupid enough to tweet about it if it existed.

In all likelihood, it’s probably not a sex tape so much as it is a bunch of really dumb footage of him, but who knows? The kid drives around in a chrome hot rod, so clearly he’s compensating for something. And by “something” I mean “listenable songs.”

Justin Bieber

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Tila Tequila Tila Tequila announced on Facebook recently that she is ten weeks pregnant! The Blemish
James Franco called a New York Times theater critic a 'little bitch' over a bad review Celebitchy
The Stupid Awards: Jessica Simpson's baby daddy Eric treats their kid like a football! Bohomoth
How cute do Mariah Carey and her hubby Nick Cannon look in their Easter costumes? SOW
Khloé Kardashian and French Montana are said to be casually dating each other! ICYDK
Cameron Diaz claims that model Kate Upton is more than just big ol' titties! Celebslam
OMG, he's naked: Big Brother Canada contestant Kenny Brain's NSFW Grindr pics! OMG Blog
Why anyone would want to use singer Selena Gomez to help sell shoes? Hollywood Tuna
Dolce&Gabbana's eyewear ads with Noah Mills, Evandro Soldati and Adam Senn Oh La La
Remember when Lindsay Lohan wrote a list of dudes she banged and we all saw it? Evil Beet
Miley Cyrus has postponed the remainder of her US Bangerz tour until August! Dlisted