a 12-year-old lesbian’s mom might pose for playboy

Are you sick and tired of Justin Bieber? Well, get ready to be sick and tired of his parents too! Playboy has offered Justin’s mom Pattie Bieber, the one who originally forced her spawn to busk around in the middle of Fucking Nowhere, Ontario, $50,000 to show off her boobs. Puh-leeeeeeze. For that kind of money, the woman would literally sell her own son’s kidneys on Ebay.

Playboy has offered Justin Bieber’s mom $50,000 to pose topless, celebrity blogger Zack Taylor reports. Should she accept the offer, Pattie would be featured in a spread in an upcoming issue. Pattie, 34, had Justin when she was 18, raised him on her own and posted the YouTube videos that made him a star. Justin’s dad, Jeremy, lives in Canada, is married and has two younger children, Jazmyn and Jaxon. SOURCE

For those of you wondering if having your mom pose naked would be at all emotionally debilitating, puh-leeeeeeze. Pattie’s Playboy profile would probably read something along the lines of this:

LIKES: Nice people, Smiles, Forcing my child into a life of constant work and media scrutiny so I can live vicariously through him.

DISLIKES: Mean people, Rain, That annoying whining sound Justin makes whenever I whip him for not hitting the sharp F. (Come on sweetie, Mama needs some whiskey to help her forget that she feels nothing in her heart!)


Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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