Did you know Justin Bieber had a swagger coach? A freakin’ SWAGGER COACH. Someone on hand at all times to make sure Bieber acted in the most cool and marketable way at all times. Just in case it hasn’t dawned on you that Justin stopped being a person and started being a product the moment his Mom started pimping him out on Youtube. How sad is that? Well it looks like Justin’s swagger coach Ryan Good has decided that it’s time for his baby bird to spread his wings and fly, because he’s no longer with Justin, which means Bieber is going to have to (gasp!) act like a normal kid. The Huffington Post reports:
“All u asking..ryan is going to pursue some of his dreams…we encourage him 2 go after his. he will always b a part of this family. always,” Bieber’s manager, Scooter Braun tweeted Monday. Good, whose official title was “road manager,” was a former assistant to Bieber’s mentor, Usher, and was brought on the Bieber bandwagon to help him with his image. “I have a swagger coach that helps me and teaches me different swaggerific things to do,” Bieber said in 2010, adding, “He has helped me with my style and just putting different pieces together and being able to layer and stuff like that.”
I know some of you think I hate Bieber, but honestly, I really don’t. I pity him though. I pity him because he was a teenager and then one day he was retooled by a focus group until he became this commodity you could buy and sell like a toy. It just saddens me to see a kid get turned into some sort of weird plastic bauble and marketed to screaming little girls who would pawn their worldly possessions for another fix. I mean, he’s not the first, but it is kind of sad, you have to admit.