WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Justin Bieber is rooting for Chris Brown

Justin Bieber is rooting for Chris Brown

Remember how I said that Justin Bieber has pretty much gone from adorable baby lesbian to white trash suburban teenager? Well, it turns out Justin is actually a big Chris Brown fan, and thinks people should just ignore the fact that he nearly beat his girlfriend to death and focus on his bland-ass music. So I was completely right: Justin is a white trash suburban teenager. RadarOnline reports …

After revealing that he will not be in attendance at the music awards show himself, Bieber shared who he was pulling for and wasn’t bashful about his support of Brown. “Chris Brown,” he said. “I’m a fan. His music is really good. That’s what they should focus on: the music.”

Brown is currently being investigated on new assault allegations involving an incident between himself and fellow R&B superstar Frank Ocean. [Ed note: Highlighting is my own, because the irony here is just delicious.]

Yes, Justin’s right: If we’re going to discuss Chris Brown’s professional accomplishments, let’s focus on his music. Specifically, it’s bland gutter-noise that appeals only to those with the most limited of musical palettes and an affinity for gaudy, tasteless garbage, and is an entirely unique level of pure, unadulterated dreck that no educated person would ever even deign sink to. See? I can focus on how Chris Brown sucks at music and not just how Chris Brown sucks at not punching women.

Justin Bieber and Chris Brown