Pull out your best not-the-baby-daddy-dances and call up Maury Povich, because Justin Bieber is (in all likelihood) not the father! Okay, so he didn’t actually take the paternity test to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he didn’t eff the ess out of her, like famewhore Mariah Yeater said he did, but TMZ is reporting that Mariah has dropped the case, I’m assuming after she realized that shaking down underage celebrities for child support is probably not the best way to make money.
The suit was quietly dismissed late last week. What’s more, Mariah Yeater’s lawyers, Lance Rogers and Matt Pare, have quit her … withdrawn from the case. As we first reported, Justin not only planned to take a DNA test when he returned to the U.S., he was going to sue Yeater and her lawyers for making a bogus claim. And, as we reported, Justin’s lawyer, Howard Weitzman, called the attorneys and informed them a suit was looming.
So his lawyers informed her that if Justin wasn’t the baby daddy, they’d sue her so far into next week it would take a team of trained gynecologists just to pull Tuesday out of her lying vagina, which Justin never dumped a load of maple sperm in. No way. White trash girls need to remember that if you’re going to try and play the baby-daddy card, you need to remember to aim for someone dumb who can’t afford a legal team that can literally have a judge sentence you to the prehistoric age. They can do that now.