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Justin Bieber had the worst birthday ever?

Justin Bieber had the worst birthday ever?
March 4, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber

*Cue the world’s smallest violin* Last weekend, Justin Bieber turned nineteen, which he celebrated by throwing himself a massive circus-themed birthday party because oh yeah, he’s rich. You know what most people got when they turned nineteen? Nothing, because there is nothing special about turning nineteen. Nineteen is just that awkward year that comes between the age you become an adult and the age you stop being a teenager. Anyway, Justin’s entourage decided to celebrate his birthday by getting into a fight with the club’s security after they allegedly brought fourteen-year-old Jaden Smith with them into a nightclub, and now Biebs is throwing a hissy fit. Us Weekly reports …

The Biebs wants to share his side of the story. After his March 1st birthday bash at London’s club Cirque du Soir ended in chaos, Justin Bieber — now an older, wiser 19 — took to Instagram to defend himself. “The funny moment when people believe I brought underage people to a club,” the “Beauty and the Beat” singer wrote beneath a photo of blank, black box.

Retorted Bieber: “U think Will is letting his 14 year old in a club, I don’t think so.” Further slamming the hotspot: “I love how the club wanted to give the press another reason to why we didn’t stay at their weak ass club so they wouldn’t look bad for me walking in and right back out.” About 15 minutes after the confrontation, Bieber et al departed the premises.

Still, Bieber found the silver lining to his disappointing evening: “I said m ‘worst bday’ but that was due to dummies pushing over my fans and being overly aggressive. Btw it wasn’t the worst bday cuz all my friends from back home flew in I was just mad in the moment.”

On one hand, it’s entirely possible that the club is lying. On the other hand, Justin is still a teenager, and therefore an entitled idiot, so I can also believe that Justin would try and sneak his underage buddy in and then blame the club for calling him out on it. Also, there’s no such thing as “overly aggressive” when it comes to not being mauled to death by screaming delusional girls. “I’ve seen things rookie … I’ve seen things. I once saw a group of teenage girls devour one of my best guards after he told them Justin Bieber was near by. Their dead shark eyes show no mercy, rookie. None whatsoever.”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.