Justin Bieber and Rihanna hooked up? What?!

Rihanna and Justin Bieber

Look, we run a lot of crazy stories on this blog — Courtney Stodden is a relevant human being? HAHA! No part of that statement could possibly be true! — but I think we’ve finally found the most impossible story: Justin Bieber and Rihanna apparently hooked up while he was dating Selena Gomez. I know. I KNOW. Via HuffPo

We’ll let you pause for a moment to catch your breath from laughing so hard, but a friend of Gomez’s told the magazine that news of the alleged affair has “devastated her.”

“It really cut like a knife because it happened in February of 2011, when Selena and Justin had been dating for months and were falling in love. It’s caused Selena to question their entire relationship,” the source told Life & Style.

According to the friend, Bieber and Rihanna hooked up after an evening of flirting at the NBA All-Stars game in February 2011. While it’s true that Bieber and Rihanna were spotted sitting next to each other, allegations that the two hooked up seem more than dubious. Given the timeline, Bieber would have been a week shy of his 17th birthday, while Rihanna would have been 22. Plus, (for whatever reason) Bieber is good friends with Chris Brown, and we doubt their friendship would have survived if the Biebs hooked up with Brown’s ex-girlfriend.

Know how I know this didn’t happen? First off, Justin was sixteen, so yeah, weird. And second, I’m pretty sure that was back when Justin was the size and weight of an edamame bean, so the fact that he’s still intact is probably a pretty good sign Rihanna didn’t break him into two pieces with sex.

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Madonna "Two Steps Behind Me" Lady Gaga Diss Track Madonna disses Lady Gaga on her rumored upcoming track "Two Steps Behind Me" The Blemish
Adam Levine feels 'slightly more masculine, more like a man' now that he's married Celebitchy
Beyoncé and Jay Z's Labor Day PDA puts an end to those rampant divorce rumors! PopSugar
Oh Dear: Girls' Lena Dunham Instagrammed a photo of herself just as she woke up ... SOW
Truth: Courtney Stodden will never come close to being a legend like Marilyn Monroe! ICYDK
Hacked: The greatest celebrity nude photo leak of all time is now upon us all! Celebslam
Start your week out right ... listen to Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda" (The Fart Remix) OMG Blog
Want to see naked photos from the celebrity cellphone hack of the century? Hollywood Tuna
Matthew Terry is the ultimate Calvin Klein model ... from jeans to underwear–hot! Oh La La
Ugh: Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg simply could not wait to get married! Evil Beet
Baby North West has already totally mastered an expert-level 'over it' expression ... Dlisted