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Justin Bieber’s team held an intervention for him in Panama?

Justin Bieber’s team held an intervention for him in Panama?
January 27, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber

All right, so let’s just do some catching up: Apparently, Justin Bieber‘s off the hook for the whole drag racing thing last week, because Florida police really are just that bad. Despite their precious, precious cash cow being free to be milked, I guess his team decided to lay down the law with an intervention. But they didn’t want it to be too harsh, so they held it in Panama. Sure, why not. TMZ reports …

Usher has high-tailed it down to Panama to talk some sense into Justin Bieber … TMZ has learned. Justin and his mentor posed for pics with a woman who appears to be a Panamanian Belieber (they really are everywhere). Sources tell us Usher flew to Panama for a serious come-to-jesus with JB on the heels of his arrest in Miami. We’re told Justin’s manager Scooter Braun, and Justin’s childhood friend Ryan Butler, are also there for the sit-down. Scooter got roped in for a pic with a Belieber at the resort where they’re all staying.

Not that I don’t think the kid desperately needed an intervention or anything, but I can’t help but feel like they’re sending something of a mixed message …

Scooter: Justin, we’re here because we all love you very much, and want you to be healthy–
Justin: Where’s my gawddamn sizzurp? I WANT MY SIZZURP IN MY SIPPIE CUP!
Scooter: Here you go. Now, you’re a good kid, but we feel like you made some bad decisions and–
Justin: Find me some groupies! Preferably ones that are okay with me going in raw.
Scooter: I have three on their way. We just want you to clean up your act, because you’re only hurting yourse–
Justin: Fill a car with C4 and kittens, I’m gonna go VROOM VROOM on a residential street.
Scooter: Yes, sir! Whatever you want, sir.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.