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Justin Bieber peed in a mop bucket, crosses the moral event horizon

Justin Bieber peed in a mop bucket, crosses the moral event horizon
July 9, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber

In writing, crossing the moral event horizon is when a villain goes from run of the mill bad to full-blown cackling evil. It’s the moment where an asshole takes all of his chips, screams “F**K IT!” and goes all in on man’s inhumanity to man. And apparently, Justin Bieber has more or less crossed the horizon after a video of him peeing in a restaurant employee’s mop bucket while he and his enablers laughed hysterically made it’s way to TMZ. And before anyone tries to give my flack over this: No, I’ve never peed on someone else’s property while cackling like a demon, because my parents actually raised me right. Consider my opinions contextualized.

The clip was shot in NYC earlier this year — we’re told Bieber and his idiotic friends were leaving some nightclub, exiting through a restaurant kitchen, and Bieber decided he needed to take a leak.

But rather than go to a bathroom like a civilized person, Bieber — wearing pants that should literally be illegal — whipped out his junk and whizzed into a yellow mop bucket used to clean the restaurant’s floors … meaning whoever’s job it was to mop the place up had to physically change Bieber’s disgusting piss water.

Oh yeah, at the end of the video, Bieber sprays a photo of Bill Clinton with cleaning liquid for some reason … saying, “F*** Bill Clinton!”

The only thing that surprises me is that Bieber doesn’t sit down to pee. Either way, if it sounds like I’m pissed, it’s because I am. I was raised in a family-owned restaurant, and it’s where I worked for years before moving out on my own, and there was nothing more obnoxious than a bunch of drunk assholes who thought they were God’s gift to the world and who had no problem tormenting others as long as their buddies were laughing. And you know what happened to those drunk assholes? Eventually, they pissed the wrong people off and they got destroyed. Absolutely destroyed. One of them still hasn’t fully recovered. Will it happen to Bieber? One way or another, yes. If he doesn’t undo himself, someone who doesn’t care who he is will. And as with the aforementioned drunk assholes, I’ll be over here shrugging my shoulders going “Meh, it was gonna happen sooner or later.”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.