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Justin Bieber isn’t retiring (but we all wish he would)

Justin Bieber isn’t retiring (but we all wish he would)
December 18, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber

This morning, I woke up, walked the dog, poured myself some coffee, and started hunting for stories and wouldn’t you know it, the first thing that pops up is a picture of Justin Bieber with “I’M RETIRING!” in big-ass headline letters above it. The first thing that popped in my head was “Bye Felicia.” And then the second thing was “This is too good to be true.” So of course, it absolutely WAS too good to be true.

Justin Bieber is NOT retiring — despite an interview the superstar gave to Los Angeles’ Power 106 on Tuesday. During the sit-down, the singer said, “[After] the new album, I’m actually retiring, man. I’m retiring.” Bieber’s Journals album comes out next week, at the end of his 10-week Music Mondays project. But a source close to the teen superstar tells Gossip Cop he was simply joking when it came to the retirement bit. Of course, Bieber is known among close pals to be a practical joker — and has not yet fulfilled his life’s goal of winning a Grammy.
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Yeah, don’t hold your breath for that Grammy, sweetums. The really sad thing is that, all joking aside, he actually could retire at this point and live comfortably for the rest of his life. Just think about that for a minute: Your darling grandparents worked their whole lives so they could retire and live off a fixed income, and they only got to that point in their sixties or seventies. Meanwhile, Justin can retire before his balls even drop, and his only lasting contribution to the world is a slew of mediocre pop hits. What I’m saying is, the universe is a chaotic mess.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.