Justin Bieber is moving to Atlanta! What could go wrong?

Justin Bieber is moving to Atlanta! What could go wrong?
February 18, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber

So apparently, after having one hell of a bad month and turning himself into a social pariah, Justin Bieber has decided to move to Atlanta. As in, the hip-hop capital of the US. It’s adorable how he thinks he’s hip-hop, ain’t it? Anyway, TMZ immediately jumped on the opportunity to burst Justin’s bubble, pointing out that even a small of weed will get you sent to jail for a decade while sizzurp lands you up to fifteen years. Oh, and Georgia also doesn’t give a sh!t if you’re famous. So he’s boned.

Here’s the problem … and it’s a big one. In Georgia, possession of a tiny bit of weed is a misdemeanor that can land you in jail for one year. And, if it’s more than an ounce, it becomes a FELONY and the maximum penalty is A DECADE BEHIND BARS. By contrast … in California 28.5 grams of pot or less is like a traffic ticket. And more than 28.5 grams is just a misdemeanor with the max penalty of six months in county jail. As for sizzurp … in Georgia even a tiny bit of unprescribed codeine can land you in prison for 15 YEARS.

At first, I was just going to write this off as hypothesizing of what could potentially happen, but then I remembered that this is Justin. No one is going to tell him he can’t have weed or sizzurp.

Judge: You’ve been charged with possession of marijuana and codeine. How do you plead?
Justin: I’m rich and famous.
Judge: Cute. You’re getting 25 years.
Justin: So we’re not going to Menchie’s after this?
Judge: Well, if they’re still around by 2039 …

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.