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Justin Bieber gave another $75,000 to strippers

Justin Bieber gave another $75,000 to strippers
January 21, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber

I know I rag on Justin Bieber a lot, but I really should talk about what a fascinating scientific study he is. You see, Justin is part of a cycle — much like the hydrologic cycle — that circulates money through the country. First, money from girls with terrible taste in music evaporates and travels to Justin Bieber. When enough money condenses, Justin will make it rain on strippers. The strippers will then let the money flow to the H&M where the terrible, terrible teenagers work and the cycle continues. All of that was my roundabout way of saying Justin spent $75,000 on strippers. SCIENCE! TMZ reports …

Justin Bieber didn’t just make it rain … he made it pour in Miami … first hitting up a famous nightclub — and then dropping $75K in a strip club … this according to a rep from the strip club. Justin flew from Colorado to Miami Beach — where he was spotted going into Mansion (above). A few hours later he went to King of Diamonds … we believe to attend Lil Scrappy’s birthday party. A KOD rep confirms to TMZ … Justin got $75K in 1 dollar bills, and went wild.

Well, to give credit where credit is due, at least he gave that money to women who earned it instead of using it to buy pot for his weed jar. Or sizzurp. Or eggs. Literally anything that Justin buys is pretty awful, so just give all your money to strippers. We all know it’s going to happen eventually, so just get it over with.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.