Justin Bieber’s entourage is under investigation again

Justin Bieber’s entourage is under investigation again
August 5, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber might be the single most paint-by-numbers asshole in the world. I mean it. Every time he ends up in trouble, you can literally guess exactly what happened and you wouldn’t be too far off the mark. Last night, Justin’s crew got into a brawl at a nightclub, and … actually, just guess what happened. Write it down. You have something? Good, then read the story from TMZ and see how much of it you got right.

The incident occurred outside South Pointe nightclub in Southampton on Sunday at around 3 AM. Bieber had arrived an hour earlier and inside the club we’re told the booze was flowing in the VIP area. A girl inside the club tried to speak to Justin but was denied. She came back with a guy — the alleged victim — who apparently had beef with the situation and at that point Justin went nuts, pulling off his shirt and screaming at the dude. Justin and crew left the club but in the parking lot things flared up again. Justin — who was in his SUV — jumped through the sunroof onto the hood. At that point it’s unclear what happened, but the alleged victim was knocked out on the cement.

So, let’s check off the usual suspects, shall we? Justin was in a nightclub, even though he’s underage? Check. Justin flips out for no reason? Check. Justin takes off his shirt? Check. Justin’s crew takes the fall? Check. See what I mean? Justin can’t even be creative when he’s being a douche. At least popping out of his car’s sunroof was a new twist, although that’s just a slight riff on that time he popped out of his car to go after a photographer, only to be put back in his seat and buckled up by his bodyguard.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.