Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have split!

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis

Good news if you have a thing for douchey-looking, out of touch hipsters who have essentially been making the same two movies for the past decade: Johnny Depp has split with his partner, Vanessa Paradis after fourteen years as a couple. Here’s the info I gleaned from The Daily Mail, which is incredibly hard to do when their idea of writing involves solitary sentences sandwiched between onslaughts of giant pics.

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have split after nearly 14 years together. The actor’s publicist announced this afternoon that the couple had ‘amicably separated’ and added: ‘Please respect their privacy and, more importantly, the privacy of their children.’ The couple, who have two children, Lily-Rose, 13, and nine-year-old Jack, haven’t been seen at a public event together since 2010.

Wait, didn’t they break up a couple years ago? Or is this one of those “we pretty much stopped trying a while back, but we’ve just been going through the motions for a while in a vain attempt to reconcile what is essentially unsalvageable?” Because believe me, my parents did that for a good five years. It never works.

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.