As we all know, the world stopped spinning yet nothing happened following the massive, ground-breaking news concerning the impending divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries (after just 72 days of wedded bliss), a fate that no one saw coming except for everyone who knew it was a sham wedding. So basically: everyone. Anyway, that’s why Jessica Simpson had to wait until this morning to break the news that she was pregnant, even though she actually broke the news last night but once again: world stopped turning. Blame Kim. For everything. Us Weekly reports:
Dressed as a mummy and holding her already-famous baby bump, Simpson, 31, writes, “It’s true, I’m going to be a mummy!” The baby-to-be will be the first for the singer and designer and her fiance Eric Johnson. Simpson has been the subject of baby speculation for months, thanks to an increasingly undeniable baby bump sported during recent outings in L.A., NYC and elsewhere. Yale grad and former NFL pro Johnson, 32, proposed to Simpson back in November 2010 after about six months of dating.
The really funny part about this is that Jessica and her dad Joe Simpson were both waiting on someone to pay $500,000 in order to score the rights to break the story, which is sort of like keeping a narwhal in the middle of the living room and then waiting for someone to write you a check before you actually acknowledge it. “Oh that? That’s just our new chandelier. We have to water and feed it fish every couple of hours, but it’s a chandelier and not an aquatic mammal. But for the right price …”