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Jenna Jameson got arrested for battery

Jenna Jameson got arrested for battery
April 8, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Jenna Jameson

It’s not often I get to have too much fun with a post, but the hell with it, here’s my opportunity: former porn queen Jenna Jameson got arrested for battery over the weekend, and after the blockquote from E! Online, I’m going to see how many double entendres I can make about this situation …

According to authorities, Jameson got into a physical altercation with someone she knew while pre-partying at around 7:50 p.m., before heading out for her big birthday bash. The victim claims to have been struck by Jameson and subsequent placed her under citizens arrest. Police then transported the XXX star to jail, where she was booked and released on her own recognizance.

All right, let’s see how many of these we can cram in here (That’s one!) … That’s weird, usually she’s the one getting pounded. (2!) Jenna may be in a sticky situation (3!) but she can still turn it around. (4!) That being said, if she’s really guilty, she’ll just have to suck it up (5!) and serve hard time. (6!) Hopefully she doesn’t blow it (7!) because it seem these days she’s really spreading herself thin. (8 I guess? Yeah that wasn’t my best.) Either way, we’re confident she’ll come out on top. (9! Much better.) Anal. (10!)

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.