Good news woman beaters! It turns out if you can dance really well and you can make ho-hum hip-hop-pop music, everyone will forgive you for punching women. At the MTV VMAs, Chris Brown came out and did the whole song/dance/fly for no discernible reason routine, and in all honesty, he killed it. Actually, he didn’t just kill it – he bit its face and then slammed its head into a car door repeatedly before leaving it out on the sidewalk for dead. And while everyone else was applauding, Jay-Z (read: Rihanna‘s mentor) was having none of that shit. And by “that shit”, I mean “domestic abuse”. Because Chris Brown domestically abused Rihanna. How does no one remember that?