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WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Groan: Jaden Smith’s music video (for / about Kylie Jenner?)

Groan: Jaden Smith’s music video (for / about Kylie Jenner?)
October 8, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Jaden Smith

Oh Jaden Smith. I think it’s time someone told you the truth. The actual, honest to gawd truth. Because I’m guessing no one in your circle of overpraise is going to tell you this. Ready? Here goes …

You’re completely and utterly average in every way. You’re not the worst as the web says you are, but you’re also nowhere near as special and unique as you’ve been lead to believe. You are essentially just okay in every way. You are mediocrity. Vanilla ice cream. A rerun of a ten-year-old movie on TBS. Catch his music video for “FAST,” which might have something to do with Kylie Jenner.

The good news is that this totally takes the pressure off of you! You can relax! And because your parents are rich, you can find a cozy, unobtrusive job you like and live the easy life from here on out! The bad news is you’re gonna have to cut sh!t like this out. Seriously, it doesn’t matter how many times your dad tries to buy you a career in entertainment, it’s not going to happen. Ever heard the phrase “living above your means”? Well, you’re living above your talent.

I’m just saying, it’s okay. You can stop. Please, just stop. You’ll never reach the highest highs, but you’ll never reach the lowest lows. You’re just like everyone else! So please, stop pretending you aren’t.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.