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I’m not sure Kanye West understands what a blowfish is …

I’m not sure Kanye West understands what a blowfish is …
July 21, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Kanye West

Let me start off by saying that Kanye West is good at many things, such as music, and … did I say music? All right, so just music, but he’s really, REALLY good. Unfortunately, somewhere down the line, a tiny devil on his shoulder bent over and whispered in his ear, “Kanye! Being good at one thing means you must be naturally good at everything! Let the world know of your genius thoughts and let no one tell you otherwise!” And then the tiny angel appeared on his shoulder and said, “F*ck it, I just got laid off, do whatever you want.” And the rest was history. So here’s Kanye talking to GQ about how he’s a blowfish or something because I don’t think Kanye knows how fish work.

I’m a blowfish. I’m not a shark, I’m a blowfish. So that perfect example about me hitting my head, it’s like a blowfish. I wasn’t coming out of my house going to a paparazzi’s house to attack them. I’m defending my family in front of my own house. I’m defending my name as someone’s screaming something negative at me. That’s a blowfish. People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people.

Except here’s the problem with all of that: none of that made any sense. I think with Kanye, he has a habit of latching onto a metaphor and just riding it until it’s completely worn out. Which is all well and good when you’re playing it off as a joke, but more often than not he gives off the impression that what he’s saying is VERY serious and VERY important, and ultimately he ends up with a very long directionless rant about how he’s a blowfish and you sort of just nod politely and back slowly towards the door. Not that I’m complaining. That’s amazing. I have no idea what he just said, all I know is I kind of want to thank him for it.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.