Hottie Jamie Dornan is your new Christian Grey

Hottie Jamie Dornan is your new Christian Grey
October 24, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Jamie Dornan

Now that Charlie Hunnam has dropped out of Fifty Shades of Grey, presumably because he actually got around to actually reading the book, they’ve been looking for a new actor to practice fake BDSM on screen for undiscerning menopausal mothers. So here comes Irish actor Jamie Dornan of Once Upon A Time to teach menopausal women that abuse is super hot and in no way different from actual, safely practiced kink. From The Hollywood Reporter

The U.K.-based Dornan was first revealed as a contender for the role of kinky billionaire Grey by THR on Oct. 14. He is the star of the U.K. series The Fall and might be best-known to U.S. audiences for playing the Huntsman in ABC’s Once Upon a Time. Born in Northern Ireland, he’s a former Calvin Klein model and dated Keira Knightley for two years.

Dornan, 31, actually was contacted before Hunnam officially dropped out, and tested Friday opposite female lead Dakota Johnson for director Sam Taylor-Johnson, author EL James and producers Michael De Luca and Dana Brunetti. Tony-nominated actor Billy Magnussen also tested, as did Francois Arnaud from The Borgias, according to sources.

Well, at least they found an actor to play Abuser McGee over there, now they just have to make sure he never actually reads the book, or else he’ll immediately realize what a trainwreck it is and- Oh, great, now he just quit. Well, I’m sure Alexander Skarsgård would love to- Oh, wait, he just read the book too and now he just quit. Well that’s okay, I’m sure every other actor in Hollywood would love to- All of them? They all read the book and they want nothing to do with it? Son of a bitch.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.