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Here’s How Hugh Hefner Ruined His Life…

Here’s How Hugh Hefner Ruined His Life…
December 31, 2010 JEREMY FEIST

… Or what little of it remained anyway. What? He’s 84-years-old for God’s sake. The man cums powder at this point. Anyway, in an interview, Hugh Hefner and his current blonde with big tits (She has a name right? HA! Just kidding. Of course not, she’s dead inside) sat down and spoke about how Hugh Hefner proposed to her, thus ensuring her a hefty sum of money once he kicks it in three, two, one…

Crystal said she knew she was getting a ring because one of Hef’s staffers helped her figure out what kind of diamond she wanted, but she was still surprised when he finally presented it to her.
“I love the Little Mermaid and Hef gave me a Little Mermaid music box and he wound it up and when I opened it the ring was in a box inside. I cried!” SOURCE

Yeah, the fact that he went with a Little Mermaid reference is in no way incredibly creepy when you realize that she is 60-years-younger than him. And now, just to make this whole post even more inappropriate…

“There was no down on one knee; we don’t follow traditions like that. When I opened the box Hef said ‘I hope it fits,’ but it was too big! I had to get it re-sized!”

That’s what she said!