After five years of watching whores battle it out over washed-up singers, VH1 is finally going back to its roots of creating reality TV shows where has-beens and never-weres compete for shit no one wants. In Famous Foods, Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, Danielle I didn’t know breast implants came in the form of squares! Staub and various other nobodies will be competing for a chance to become a partner in a restaurant they’re helping put together, which will eventually close after two months because no one in Hollywood actually eats food.
VH1 — creator of “celebrity”-reality shows that the world watches but didn’t ask for — has a new project in the works. Famous Food, premiering in the fall, will give Heidi Montag, Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Danielle Staub, Bachelor doucheboat Jake Pavelka, “singer” Ashley Dupré, and The Sopranos‘ Vincent Pastore, and two rappers from Three 6 Mafia a chance to launch a restaurant. With their collective skills — and hopefully a bucket of Clorox — the 10-episode series will see if they have what it takes to launch a restaurant aptly named Famous Food. After the restaurant’s opening, two experts will decide who is most deserving of a partnership stake. SOURCE
Oh my God, this is perfect! Honestly, as someone who used to watch The Surreal Life religiously, I’m tingling with excitement right now. And it sure as hell doesn’t hurt that these people will probably stop at nothing to stab each other in the back which I find absolutely delicious. Seriously, I’m pretty sure at this point Heidi would set someone on fire for half a bag of Skittles. “I dunno, are there still some red ones left? THERE ARE?! *FWOOSH!* Sorry, Fat Italian guy!”