heidi montag might be fake-preggers!

heidi montag might be fake-preggers!
June 10, 2010 JEREMY FEIST

Because it wasn’t enough that these two assholes had to get fake-separated, now Heidi Montag is freaking out because she thinks she might be pregnant with Spencer Pratt‘s spawn. I know I don’t say this enough, but the apocalypse is coming and we’re all going to die horribly. And this is why.

“She and Spencer had an active sex life right up until the day she walked out the door, and she was terrified that she could be pregnant,” a source said.

The 24-year-old is said to have taken a pregnancy test purchased from a Malibu pharmacy, but was not convinced of the negative result as it is still early.

The insider added: “This is the last thing she needs right now.” SOURCE

Thankfully, if the line about Heidi and Spencer having an “active sex life” is any indication, this story is pretty much a bold-faced lie. Somewhere between the fact that Heidi Montag is 100% recyclable and that Spencer Pratt has a dick roughly the size of a Tic-Tac, you can pretty much recreate Heidi and Spencer’s love life by taking a Barbie and a Ken Doll and smashing them together for all of about fifteen seconds … And then giving the Ken Doll a magic crystal and having it yell at Barbie for half an hour until she agrees to have a couple of ribs surgically removed. Fun for the whole family!