WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Heidi Montag is writing an autobiography!

Heidi Montag is writing an autobiography!

Heidi Montag

A couple years ago, Heidi Montag wrote a book with Spencer Pratt, which was about as well-received as a letter full of anthrax. Of course, Heidi Montag hasn’t learned anything from that, because she’s decided that she’s going to dig herself out of the bottomless grave of debt she put herself in by writing an autobiography. I hope she knows that being able to spell out her own name on the “fridgerator” using letter magnets does not constitute writing. AZCentral reports:

A source said: “She’ll talk about the control that Spencer exerted over her, which forced her to make bad decisions that ultimately got her kicked off The Hills. A big chunk of the book will be about how Heidi befriended Lauren and how devastated she was when she ended up dumping her as her BFF. Maybe something positive will come out of it. She’s happy to have people read the full story and make up their own minds.” Heidi is also set to spill the beans on her dramatic plastic surgery which saw her transform her looks with 10 operations in one day. The source added to National Enquirer magazine: “She blames a lot of it on the pressure of being in the public spotlight. She wanted to make herself look like a Barbie doll.”

So she’s going to blame the pressure of being in spotlight, despite the fact that she willingly neglected going to school or learning any sort of life skills because she decided to put herself there in the first place. That’s what you’re saying, right? Oh for … look, if you lay a bear trap on the floor, and then shove your leg in the damn thing, you forfeit the right to complain about the giant metal set of demon jaws biting through your calf because it’s your own damn fault for putting yourself in there in the first place.

Heidi Montag