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Hayden Panettiere broke up with her giant boyfriend!

Hayden Panettiere broke up with her giant boyfriend!
May 12, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Hayden Panettiere and Wladimir Klitschko

Apparently, there IS only so much giant wang that a va-jay-jay can take, because Hayden Panettiere and her giant of a boyfriend, Wladimir Klitschko (who was apparently name by throwing a canned ham at a keyboard) split up, citing ‘physical distance’, which I’m guessing is refering to the distance between the head of his dick and the rest of him. Seriously, the guy is the size of Toronto’s CN Tower, the poor girl probably needed a cab just to get from the base to the head.

“Even though we’ve decided splitting up is best for both of us, we have an amazing amount of love and respect for each other and remain very close friends,” says the Scream 4 actress, 21. “We had a great time together, but it’s not that easy to manage a relationship between two continents,” he says. “I have a lot of respect for Hayden as a person and as a friend, and I believe we’ll keep our friendship even after the separation.” SOURCE

Oh, sweetie, everyone knows you don’t break up with a man taller than 6’4″. If only because at that point, you’re basically ruined for all other men that come after him. I honestly don’t know what your situation, but after I dumped D-Bag, you could literally drive a bullet train towards me while my legs were in the air and I’d ask you if it was in yet. Point is, tall men are a commitment, Hayden. A commitment you make for LIFE. What I’m saying is, date midgets.

Hayden Panettiere and Wladimir Klitschko