Gwyneth Paltrow wants to be like Jessica Simpson?!

Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessica Simpson

Gwyneth Paltrow is one of the most high-profile and legendarily posh celebrities out there. Jessica Simpson doesn’t know how canned tuna works and got out of a Jenny Craig contract by getting pregnant almost immediately after giving birth. So naturally, Gwyneth has decided to back off of acting and become Jessica, because the intoxicating allure of 24/7 Applebee’s cannot be resisted. That’s not a joke: I’d totally be eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Get it, girl. Us Weekly reports …

Paltrow is hoping to emulate the career of another multitalented star: Jessica Simpson! “She admires Jessica’s empire,” the source says of the Academy Award winner, 40. “She wants to make a killing.” The two-time cookbook author’s rep says she has no plans to give up acting altogether, telling the Feb. 25 issue of Us Weekly, “She won’t quit acting. Her plan is to do one, maybe two supporting parts a year.” Even so, the source cautions, “She’s lost her passion for movies.”

Mind you, this is Gwyneth, so this is probably how it’s going to turn out …

Gwyneth: Jessica, tell me your secrets. How do you stay so happy?
Jessica: If you mix ketchup and mayonnaise, it’s really good to dip your fries in!
Gwyneth: Ummmm, okay, that-
Jessica: If you take the bottom half of a cupcake and put it on top of the frosting, it makes a cupcake sandwich.
Gwyneth: OH GOD, I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. I WANT TO BE IN MOVIES AGAIN! I WANT TO BE IN MOVIES!!!

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan on her (messy) first performance of Speed-The-Plow in London ... Dlisted
George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin are now officially married–well, almost! Celebitchy
Jennifer Lopez and BFF Leah Remini were in a hit-and-run with a drunk driver! PopSugar
Sofia Vergara has a problem with that bitch on Modern Family ... find out who! SOW
You can look at the leaked celebrity nudes photos, because they're art now The Blemish
Paris Hilton loves to spend money and her latest outing is totally proof of that! ICYDK
Here is my new favorite picture of Kim Kardashian ... oh such composure! Celebslam
O-Town cutie Ashley Parker Angel is putting his Instagram to very good use ... OMG Blog
I will say this, that famewhore MILF definitely knows how to dress ... Hollywood Tuna
When he is not doing everything Calvin Klein, Matthew Terry likes to model Oh La La
Britney Spears is getting her beauty on and now has a new fancy bob haircut! Evil Beet