Gwyneth Paltrow wants to be like Jessica Simpson?!

Gwyneth Paltrow and Jessica Simpson

Gwyneth Paltrow is one of the most high-profile and legendarily posh celebrities out there. Jessica Simpson doesn’t know how canned tuna works and got out of a Jenny Craig contract by getting pregnant almost immediately after giving birth. So naturally, Gwyneth has decided to back off of acting and become Jessica, because the intoxicating allure of 24/7 Applebee’s cannot be resisted. That’s not a joke: I’d totally be eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Get it, girl. Us Weekly reports …

Paltrow is hoping to emulate the career of another multitalented star: Jessica Simpson! “She admires Jessica’s empire,” the source says of the Academy Award winner, 40. “She wants to make a killing.” The two-time cookbook author’s rep says she has no plans to give up acting altogether, telling the Feb. 25 issue of Us Weekly, “She won’t quit acting. Her plan is to do one, maybe two supporting parts a year.” Even so, the source cautions, “She’s lost her passion for movies.”

Mind you, this is Gwyneth, so this is probably how it’s going to turn out …

Gwyneth: Jessica, tell me your secrets. How do you stay so happy?
Jessica: If you mix ketchup and mayonnaise, it’s really good to dip your fries in!
Gwyneth: Ummmm, okay, that-
Jessica: If you take the bottom half of a cupcake and put it on top of the frosting, it makes a cupcake sandwich.
Gwyneth: OH GOD, I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. I WANT TO BE IN MOVIES AGAIN! I WANT TO BE IN MOVIES!!!

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Whitney Houston / Yaya Dacosta ANTM's Yaya DaCosta takes on Whitney Houston in Lifetime biopic of the singer's life OMG Blog
Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes 'literally could not be more excited' about their baby Celebitchy
Lea Michele and the Glee cast share heartfelt messages about Cory Moneith :( PopSugar
Hugh Jackman recently shaved his head to play Blackbeard in the Peter Pan movie! SOW
Zac Efron has apaprently been hooking up with Michelle Rodriguez since 2011?! The Blemish
Glee's Becca Tobin's boyfriend, Matt Bendik, was found dead in his hotel room! ICYDK
The day we all haven't been waiting for is here, Paris Hilton has a new single out Celebslam
Oh my word ... this is one red carpet fashion disaster that no one should see! Hollywood Tuna
Watch: Sexy Dolce & Gabbana models hit on you ... while they suck on helium! Oh La La
Someone tell Lindsay Lohan that talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words Evil Beet
Brody Jenner went to Reggie Bush's wedding after skipping Kim Kardashian's wedding! Dlisted