I don’t get Gwyneth Paltrow. She seems so mind-numbingly WASPy—just look at GOOP. She is the definition of “bougie.” She’s that friend that judges you for still drinking Capri Sun at the age of 24 while she’s on a custom juice cleanse.
However, there’s something charming about her that I can’t quite seem to put my finger on. Maybe it’s pity for her desperate yearnings to seem “cool” like appearing on Glee multiple times or performing with Jay-Z or Cee Lo. Let’s be honest, she’s not the real musician in that family. Maybe it’s the fact that she plays a pivotal role in the Iron Man movies, the third of which comes out next month. Either way, I begrudgingly love her.
Paltrow, who covers the May 2013 issue of Harper’s Bazaar, look absolutely radiant against the stark white background in a white Balenciaga dress. If you zoom in, you can even see some crow’s feet around her eyes. Good for her aging naturally. On the subject of beauty, Paltrow says, “I use organic products, but I get lasers. It’s what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu.” “I’ve probably tried everything,” she continues. “I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I’m 50. I’ll try anything. Except I won’t do Botox again, because I looked crazy.”
Wait, Gwyneth smokes? And she’s had Botox? What an interesting dichotomy. She also talks about Jay-Z. A lot. She mentions learning how to be fearless from him and apparently her kids refer to him as “Uncle Jay.” The article starts off with her wearing one of her son Moses’ gold chains, which he got to be more like the rapper. How charming.
I can’t end this without at least addressing the subscriber cover, which has the actress in a Dior couture headpiece. I can’t be the only one who thinks she looks like a damn pilgrim. Okay, we’ve addressed it.
PHOTOS | DANIEL JACKSON FOR HARPER’S BAZAAR