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Gwyneth Paltrow had to shave herself for the ‘Iron Man 3’ premiere

Gwyneth Paltrow had to shave herself for the ‘Iron Man 3’ premiere
April 26, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Gwyneth Paltrow

In today’s TMI news story, Gwyneth Paltrow apparently decided to go commando in a sheer dress for the premiere of Iron Man 3, because when your wardrobe consists of dress in the tens of thousands of dollars, the only accessory you need is your Hello Kitty. Except no one told Gwyneth that when you wear sheer over your vajeen, people are going to see your bush, so of course she had go full Brazilian on her map of Tasmania. Us Weekly reports …

“I kind of had a disaster. I was doing a show and I changed there and I went I couldn’t wear underwear. I don’t think I can tell this story on TV,” the 40-year-old said on The Ellen DeGeneres Show April 26. “Well, let’s just say everyone went scrambling for a razor.” Paltrow said she was “humiliated” by the bad press the garment generated. A curious DeGeneres then asked, “It was just the side of your leg … What is going on with you?”

“I work a ’70s vibe,” Paltrow said coyly. “You know what I mean?”

Bitch, haven’t you been walking red carpets since you were, like, in your teens? How do you not know by now that wearing sheer over your crotch means that people are going to be able to peekaboo your stuff? Nice try stunt queen, but no one can be that dim.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.