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Gwyneth Paltrow to Vanity Fair: “GOOP SMASH!”

Gwyneth Paltrow to Vanity Fair: “GOOP SMASH!”
November 5, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow is still feuding with Vanity Fair over that piece they were writing about her allegedly hooking up with a billionaire, and GOOP is apparently working hard on the next step of her master plan: To destroy Vanity Fair‘s reputation! Presumably by telling everyone that poor people read it. “I bet those dirty hoi polloi Vanity Fair readers don’t even have a team of eunuchs to turn the pages for them,” she’ll say, lounging on a hammock woven out of the hair of angels. Via RadarOnline

“She wants the magazine’s reputation destroyed before they can even publish anything on her.” Paltrow, 41, has supposedly convinced George Clooney to withdraw from appearing on the magazine’s Hollywood Issue cover, but had trouble with Julia Roberts who is apparently close to the magazine’s editor-in-chief, Graydon Carter. “[Julia] is ignoring Gwyneth, has no problem with Graydon and is happily still committed to appear on the cover of that issue,” the source revealed, noting that the refusal to bend to Paltrow’s wishes “has probably ended any chance of a friendship between the two of them.”

Wait, that’s her big get? Try to convince Julia Roberts not to pose for them? Not that she isn’t a hell of a get, but I’m just saying, it’s not like Julia is the be-all-end-all of reputable journalism. “What’s that? You caught Richard Nixon wire-tapping political rivals? … No shots of Julia Roberts you say? GET THE F**K OUT OF MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW.”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.