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GLORIOUS: Orlando Bloom punched Justin Bieber!

GLORIOUS: Orlando Bloom punched Justin Bieber!
July 30, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr

Deep down, I think we all knew that at some point the rich and famous would get just as tired of Justin Bieber as the rest of us and one hero would rise above the masses to strike him down. The real question was who? Who would it be? Dawyne Johnson? Michelle Rodriguez? Someone else with massive, muscular arms made for punching? No, the real answer was Orlando Bloom. Legolas was the world’s hero last night when he reportedly took a swing at Justin (perhaps over his ex Miranda Kerr) and sent his tiny little hobbit ass back to the shire where he belonged. TMZ reports …

Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Justin Bieber early Wednesday morning in Ibiza … and Justin fled the restaurant — this according to two eyewitnesses. The eyewitnesses tell TMZ … Orlando was in Cipriani restaurant which was packed with celebs, including Paris Hilton, and Diddy. You don’t see Orlando swing, but the eyewitnesses tell us that’s exactly what happened. We’re told Justin ducked the punch. That’s where the video starts and you hear Justin scream, “What’s up bitch?” We’re told when Bieber left the crowd applauded.

Oh, that makes me way too happy. You know you’ve worn out your welcome when someone takes a swing at you and everyone in the room applaudes their efforts. I’d say this is the moment right here where Justin realizes he’s been an unforgivable dick for most of his life and changes his ways, except he’s already had this moment like a dozen times and he’s completely ignored every single one of them. Douche. If being attacked by one of the Fellowship of the Ring doesn’t get through to him, nothing will.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.