Quantcast
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

George Zimmerman is going to fight DMX?

George Zimmerman is going to fight DMX?
February 5, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

George Zimmerman and rapper DMX

Remember that thing we posted about George Zimmerman doing celebrity boxing, because apparently shooting an unarmed black kid makes you a celebrity now? (SERIOUSLY, WHAT HAPPENED THERE, AMERICA?) Well, apparently he’s getting into the ring with rapper DMX, which … there aren’t enough condescending sighs in the world for this. TMZ, drop that sh!t …

As we first reported, DMX promised to massacre Zimmerman in the ring if he got the chance. To be exact, he said, “I am going to beat the living f**k out him … I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I f**k him right up.” He then said he’d literally piss on George’s face. Zimmerman might actually have a chance though — as we reported, he’s been training pretty hard for months … oh yeah, and he’s only 30 years old. DMX is 43.

Wait, so Zimmeran has been planning this for months? As in, he realized he was becoming a celebrity amongst paranoid racists and decided to capitalize on that by fighting someone in a regulated setting? My gosh, it’s like he meticulously picked out every level of THAT’S NOT OKAY and proceeded to just blow right through them. Somewhere in hell, Satan’s watching this, shaking his head and muttering, “Now that’s just in bad taste. Attila The Hun! Throw another soul in the furnace, I feel a draft coming on.”

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.