Did you know that there are still XXX theaters out there? Yeah, I know, how weird is that? I thought they invented computers so that we wouldn’t have to sit in a dark, cramped pit of loneliness beside other equally depressed men, watching a porno while keeping your hands above your waist. Anyway, turns out Fred Willard, renowned “that guy” comedic actor, was arrested last night for going to a porn theater and stroking it. What is it with respected comedians and getting caught masturbating in theaters? TMZ reports:
According to law enforcement sources, LAPD undercover vice officers went into the Tiki Theater in Hollywood and found the 78-year-old Anchorman star watching last night’s feature … with his penis exposed and in his hand. We’re told Willard was arrested around 8:45PM and booked for lewd conduct. It was a quick release — we’re told he was out of police custody a short while later. As for which movie Fred was watching — there are 3 flicks in rotation at the theater … Follow Me 2, a XXX parody of The Client List, and Step Dad No. 2.
Wait, you’re telling me you can’t masturbate in a porn theater? What the – no, that’s cruel is what that is! These men have to go out to a dank, dirty porn theater, and you won’t even give them the simple pleasure of jackin’ it? I mean yeah, kinda gross, but still, you’re at a porn theater. What the hell else are you supposed to? You think they’re just sitting there marveling at the subtle details of the cinematography in This Ain’t The Client List?