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Fred Willard arrested for jackin’ it

Fred Willard arrested for jackin’ it
Fred Willard

Did you know that there are still XXX theaters out there? Yeah, I know, how weird is that? I thought they invented computers so that we wouldn’t have to sit in a dark, cramped pit of loneliness beside other equally depressed men, watching a porno while keeping your hands above your waist. Anyway, turns out Fred Willard, renowned “that guy” comedic actor, was arrested last night for going to a porn theater and stroking it. What is it with respected comedians and getting caught masturbating in theaters? TMZ reports:

According to law enforcement sources, LAPD undercover vice officers went into the Tiki Theater in Hollywood and found the 78-year-old Anchorman star watching last night’s feature … with his penis exposed and in his hand. We’re told Willard was arrested around 8:45PM and booked for lewd conduct. It was a quick release — we’re told he was out of police custody a short while later. As for which movie Fred was watching — there are 3 flicks in rotation at the theater … Follow Me 2, a XXX parody of The Client List, and Step Dad No. 2.

Wait, you’re telling me you can’t masturbate in a porn theater? What the – no, that’s cruel is what that is! These men have to go out to a dank, dirty porn theater, and you won’t even give them the simple pleasure of jackin’ it? I mean yeah, kinda gross, but still, you’re at a porn theater. What the hell else are you supposed to? You think they’re just sitting there marveling at the subtle details of the cinematography in This Ain’t The Client List?

Fred Willard