For Sale: A fake picture of Justin Bieber’s penis

For Sale: A fake picture of Justin Bieber’s penis

Justin Bieber

Because your day just wasn’t complete without faked texts of Justin Bieber‘s chode, good news, that’s what you’re going to get! According to TMZ, someone in Justin’s camp has gone rogue and is shopping around fake texts between Justin and Selena Gomez where Justin sends her a picture of his penis. Apparently, you can tell they’re fake because it doesn’t look like a kidney bean resting on top of two chickpeas. You’re welcome for that mental image.

Justin Bieber has an saboteur in his camp … a guy who claims he has text messages that the singer sent to Selena Gomez and others … complete with pictures of his junk — but TMZ has learned the texts and pictures are bogus. The guy is trying to sell the texts to various media outlets through an intermediary. The alleged texts include an argument with Selena Gomez in which Bieber supposedly tells her to f off, and rejects her plea for him to go to rehab.

As for the penis photo, it was supposedly sent to Selena. The photo appears to taunt her — “Come on, don’t tell me you don’t miss this.” The response is: “Stop it. You need to listen to Scooter and go to rehab. u r sick.” Justin texts back: “F**k you. F**k scooter. F**k all y’all I AM DONE!” He also says, “Can’t hear you over my cash, babe!” You’re only famous cuz of me.” Sources who are privy to the situation tell TMZ … these texts are all phony and someone who is actually in Bieber’s world has turned on him.

Well of course they’re turning on him. Have you seen what happens when people actually try to help Bieber? They get fired. Likewise, if you bring cocaine into Justin’s home, he’ll bring you back into the fold even if everyone finds out about it. Ruining Justin’s life is the only way to stay in it.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.