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For his next trick, Shia LaBeouf will rip off Marina Abramović

For his next trick, Shia LaBeouf will rip off Marina Abramović
January 28, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Shia LaBeouf

Thus far, Shia LaBeouf got caught plagiarizing, and instead of apologizing, he tried to turn it into performance art. Because what better way to give a big middle finger to writers everywhere than to tell them that stealing their work is “art”. Anyway, now Shia is trying to sell a performance art piece to museums in Los Angeles that would feature him (or someone pretending to be him) being humiliated by the audience. The blockquote from The Hollywood Reporter, and then we’ll talk about how this too is basically just another huge rip-off of someone else’s work …

One gallerist — who wishes to remain unnamed – was contacted by LaBeouf, who emailed him a proposal, which THR has obtained exclusively and which is excerpted below. The actor describes his planned show, titled #IAMSORRY; it would feature pliers, whiskey, Belgian chocolates, Transformers toys, printed-out Twitter comments on folded paper and a ukelele.

“For 7 days, Shia will sit at a table in a small, boxy room at the rear of a Los Angeles gallery,” it reads. “It is not clear if this is actually Shia, or an imposter. A paper bag will cover his head, emblazoned with the words ‘I AM NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE.’”

A long table, holding the assortment of items, or “implements” as LaBeouf calls them, would be on hand to be used by visitors however they wanted. “It will be made clear that they can do what they please with this item,” reads the proposal. LaBeouf – or the imposter – “will remain silent throughout … he will be subjected to humiliation or forgiveness at the visitor’s discretion.”

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Gosh, something wholly original! And it’s a comment on the brutal nature of humanity and its effect on artists! Genius!” Except hold the gawddamn phone, because someone already did it. Marina Abramović actually performed a piece at MoMA back in 1974 where she stood perfectly still and let the audience do whatever they wanted to her for hours. People stabbed her, cut her, drank her blood, even held a loaded gun to her throat. So basically, Marina already did it, way better than Shia LaBoeuf ever could. Ha ha. (H/T to Cracked, who once again shine a light on Shia’s lack of creativity.)

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.