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5 Things Wrong: The Jelena statue of horror!

5 Things Wrong: The Jelena statue of horror!
August 10, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
5 Things Wrong: Jelena Statue

All right class, today we’re going to talk about the difference between COULD and SHOULD. For example, you COULD eat nothing but jelly beans and Coke all day long, but you SHOULD not because you’d just end up fat, gassy, and with delightfully odd-colored poo. You COULD spend all your time and effort trying to make people aware that you’re alive and should be famous, but you SHOULD not because then everyone on the Internet would just make fun of you for being a dirty little famewhore. And you COULD make a nude statue of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez as conjoined twins, but you SHOULD not because it is fucking terrifying. Except someone did, soooooo … here we are.

#1: The faces. I may make fun of these two a lot, but you can’t say that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez aren’t ridiculously pretty, because they are. That being said, there’s something about interpreting them as bronze monoliths that reminds me of The Terminator.

#2: That being said, like shit Justin has those abs or those pecs. Muscles like that require testosterone to be coursing through your body, so PFFT to that.

#3: On the other hand, I haven’t ever really taken a long hard look at Selena Gomez’s breasts because (A) I’m a ‘mo, and (B) she still looks a little young. That being said, I doubt she has full on tits yet.

#4: I like how the artist covers up their nether regions, because that somehow makes creating a nude sculpture of a 17-year-old boy and less pedophilic. I’m pretty sure this is what Gary Glitter thinks about when he’s horny and in another country because he’s a wanted sex offender.

#5: Yes, that is a goose fucking an armadillo. Why? Because ART, that’s why.

5 Things Wrong: Jelena Statue