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Farrah Abraham wrote her ‘sex tape’ all by herself!

Farrah Abraham wrote her ‘sex tape’ all by herself!
January 13, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Farrah Abraham

Remember how, when Farrah Abraham first released Backdoor Teen Mom, she tried to tell everyone that it was a private sex tape that just so happened to star James Deen by sheer coincidence (He’s WAY too good for all these chicken-sh!t gigs)? And absolutely no one believed her because she’s Farrah? Well, it gets better: Turns out, she basically tried to write an entire porno all by herself, and guess what? She’s hopelessly clueless! RadarOnline reports …

Farrah Abraham has long insisted that she shot her sex tape as a “private” tape which was later leaked and released as Backdoor Teen Mom, but RadarOnline has obtained the definitive proof that proves once and for all that the XXX-Teen Mom star concocted the entire sham.

In the mother-of-one’s email sent to Vivid Entertainment on March 27 last year — subject line “Dream’N” — Abraham detailed her desire for her “first at home sex tape” with hopes of S&M, anal sex and public voyeurism.

Abraham detailed, “I grab my wip, my face mask, and by three, I get boss and wip him and throw him around, I make him put on black gear, and I basically Use my dominatrix powers to make him eat me out, suck my nipples and be my B*tch for a sec,” Abraham writes in great detail. “And then I hand cuff him, and I make him say kinky sh*t to me and say phrases like “He loves my p*ssy” etc. I say I want huge c*ck, and hard d*ck “and I look at him and say “ready to give it to me , I undo his cuffs & my guy picks me up, and puts me on the kitchen counter and says he’s hungry for p*ssy,(OMG HOT lol).”

Look, whips are kinda within my wheelhouse, so let me just put this out there right now: First, it’s spelled “WHIP.” With an H, you dim troll. Second, even the most basic of whips is strong enough to slice right through human skin, and some of the stronger ones can slash a watermelon in half. In proper hands, a whip would just barely graze the skin, and cause welts, but guess what? Most of the time, it’s going to draw blood, and then it’s up to you to change the cracker and make sure the wound is properly treated. I’m willing to guess you not only didn’t know any of this, but you probably wouldn’t be willing to do the responsible thing even if you did know. If you can’t have sex responsibly, you shouldn’t be having it at all. Please stop immediately.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.