Fall TV 2012: Your Thursday Night Survival Guide

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

Happy Thursday, kids! It’s day four of our TV Survival Guides, and boy am I exhausted. Keeping up with all this TV is practically a full-time job! Luckily, I’ve bit the bullet and gone through all the bullshit, throwing back to you the best of what to watch live, what to DVR, what to stream online, and what to catch up on a long TV marathon. (ICYMI, Monday’s, Tuesday’s, and Wednesday’s Guides are all up). Let’s see what Thursday night has in store for us, shall we?

Fall TV 2012: Your Thursday Night Survival Guide

WHAT TO WATCH LIVE:

Last Resort This is probably the hardest sell of the Fall 2012 TV Season, but hear me out here. Because ABC’s Last Resort had one of the most compelling pilots I’ve ever seen. Andre Braugher plays a Navy SEAL submarine captain Marcus Chaplin, who receives some unexpected orders to launch missiles at Pakistan. Questioning the validity of said orders, he decides to ignore them – and has to flee with his crew to a nearby harbor to sort it all out. Sounds complicated? It is. There’s a lot at play here – perhaps too much to bring in a larger audience. But the performances by Braugher and Scott Speedman are outstanding, and the storyline stands out by not being a cliché cop/lawyer/doctor show we usually expect. Tune in – there’s something special happening here that’s worth checking out.

Glee It’s going to be hard to give a shit about Glee with Santana (Naya Rivera) and Mercedes (Amber Riley) not around all the time. Still, I’ll give this new season of Glee a shot, mainly because I’m a sucker for a musical number. This season. Rachel (Lea Michelle) and Kurt (Chris Colfer) are both in NYC, with the rest of the old crew holding ground back at McKinley. There’s a bunch of new people, and we’ll still see the old people from time to time, and oh whatever who cares let’s just sing, okay?

Scandal I have to admit – I don’t know much about Scandal’s second season yet. That’s because I still haven’t finished the first season (I’m like, three episodes from the end guys. But as you can see, I watch A LOT of TV). But from what I know right now about the show, I’ll definitely be tuning in for the next season. Shonda Rhimes has crafted a series with delicious characters – lead by Kerry Washington’s Olivia Pope – and complex plot points. Whatever season 2 brings, I’ll be there.

WHAT TO DVR:

30 Rock It’s 30 Rock’s last season, and it’s a shortened one too – 13 episodes or so. This means we won’t have a lot of time to say goodbye to the Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) and the rest of her crazy TGS cast and crew. Sad, huh? Still – if one person can craft the perfect goodbye, it’s going to be Tina Fey.

Up All Night There are major changes coming for season 2 of Up All Night. Seems that Ava (Maya Rudolph) no longer has her own show – and is now slumming it as a co-host on The Today Show. Reagan (Christina Applegate) is now a stay-at-home mom, while Chris (Will Arenett) has taken a job at a construction company. And if those changes aren’t enough for you, then know this: producers have promised the baby jokes are being minimalized. Now that’s something I can get behind.

Parks and Recreation Leslie Knope won! Leslie Knope wom! She’s a city councilwoman now! But don’t expect her new role to take her out of the Parks department too much. Leslie will still be around, to mix it up with Ron (Nick Offerman), Tom (Aziz Ansari), Donna (Retta), April (Aubrey Plaza), Andy (Chris Pratt), and the rest of the crew. Expect some great guest stars in season 5, including Lucy Lawless, Jon Glaser, Jonathan Banks, and – wait – is that John McCain in the premiere episode? Oh man is this season going to be fun.

WHAT TO WATCH ONLINE:

Elementary Sherlock Holmes is really hot right now. He’s got his own successful film franchise called Sherlock Holmes (portrayed there by Robert Downey Jr.). And his own hit BBC One show called Sherlock. (played there by hottie Benedict Cumberbatch). And now, he’s getting his own CBS show (portrayed here by Jonny Lee Miller) called Elementary. Have you ever heard of one character with three different adaptations of his story running concurrently? I haven’t. But I guess solving mysteries is fun!

In Elementary, of course, the big twist it that side-kick Watson is played by a woman (Lucy Liu, to be exact). For what it’s worth, that change isn’t nearly as bothersome as I first thought it would be. Producers have promised there’s no sexual tension between the two, and from what I’ve seen in the pilot, they’re right. Then again, Watson doesn’t really get to do much besides stand there and throw out a thought here and there (though she did answer a cell phone in the underground subway tunnel of NYC, which was annoyingly inaccurate). Hopefully that will change soon.

So will Elementary be a hit? Probably. CBS loves a good procedural, and this one takes a fun twist on the same old story. Should you rush to watch every episode? Probably not. Stream if you’re terribly desperate.

WHAT TO WATCH IN A MARATHON:

The Real Housewives of Miami The first season of The Real Housewives of Miami premiered on Bravo in February 2011. Now, a year and a half later, we’re on to season 2. And lucky for us, they’ve made vast improvements during that time. For one, they cut the dead weight (bye Larsa Pippen and Cristy Rice). Then, they hired a bunch of newer, hotter ladies (lead by model/DWTS contestant Joanna Krupa). And most importantly, they finally invested in the series (the first season was originally filmed as a show called Miami Social Club, which itself was a spinoff of a show called Miami Social. Confused yet?). The result is a deliciously addictive season ripe for an all-day marathon. 

Jersey Shore It’s the last season of Jersey Shore. But let’s be honest – these people aren’t going anywhere. We’ll be seeing Snooki, Pauly D, and the rest of the crew for years to come. God help us.

WHAT TO READ ABOUT ONLINE THE NEXT DAY:

Check in on The X Factor results, which will be an hour of your life you’ll be glad you weren’t devoting to the TV. You also may want to find out what’s been happening on Grey’s Anatomy since that annoying girl at your job (and, well, your mom) are probably watching.

WHAT TO IGNORE:

I’ve never been a fan of The Big Bang Theory or Two and a Half Men, so you’re not going to get glowing recommendations there out of me. I’m semi-curious about Beauty and the Beast (it’s one of the only pilots I haven’t seen yet), though I’m probably not going to like it because that sci-fi love-story bullshit isn’t for me.

NineDaves About NineDaves

NineDaves is a part-time blogger, full-time tweeter, and all-around television-addict who spends way too much time thinking about what his Real Housewives’ opening quote will be. He’s so obsessed with TV, he’s basically like that kid from Willy Wonka. Only gayer.

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