Even Charlize Theron loves Michael Fassbender’s penis

Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron

Because I know what you guys like — namely, famous celebrity peen — here’s a little story about Michael Fassbender‘s now famous dong thanks to Shame, and the women who love it. Specifically, Charlize Theron, who took the time at a recent gala for Human Rights Campaign to tell Michael’s sizable penis how much we all love it. People reports:

“Your penis was a revelation. I’m available to work with it any time,” the new mom, 36, said at the Human Rights Campaign gala in Los Angeles, where she was honored with the Ally For Equality award, the L.A. Times reports. “I have to say that I was truly impressed that you chose to play it big,” she joked to Fassbender, 34, who later toasted the crowd himself from the podium. “Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. I know because I’ve worked with them.”

I have nothing to add to this, mostly because Michael’s penis just appeared and offered to take me to the magical land of Pure Ecstasy. What’s that, Michael’s penis? You want to take the long way around? Well, okay then! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.