WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Hello, Eva Longoria’s left nipple!

Hello, Eva Longoria’s left nipple!
Eva Longoria and David Letterman

So Eva Longoria was on David Letterman last night to promote her new cookbook, and – No, really, she has a cookbook. I know, right? I didn’t even know the bitch knew how to eat. Anyway, she showed up wearing a blazer, hot pants and absolutely nothing else, which of course means it was only before one of her ta-tas tried to jailbreak that shit. Not that I mind at all here; it’s a nipple for Christ’s sake, it’s not like she pulled out a gun and started firing it off at the audience. Besides, if you’re going to promote your cooking, flashing a tit is still a hell of a lot better way to pimp it out than, I don’t know, say turning down a Make-A-Wish kid (*cough* Barefoot Cuntessa *cough*)!

Eva Longoria and David Letterman