WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP
 

It’s on: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s divorce!

It’s on: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s divorce!

So yesterday, everybody was all like “Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are getting divorced!” And then their PR people were all like “Ummm, no, they’re not getting divorced dummies.” And now today, they’re all like “Oh, wait, never mind, they really are getting divorced now.” The only thing that confuses me more than whether or not these two are actually splitting is why the hell I should care about these people!

Eva filed for divorce Wednesday morning, People reports. The papers were filed in Los Angeles Superior Court. TMZ has the papers in which Eva cites “irreconcilable differences” and asks Tony for spousal support. There was reportedly a prenup. SOURCE

You see kids? This is why you should never date anyone. Eventually they’ll leave you and it’ll hurt like hell, so you’re better off never becoming emotionally attached to anyone and instead filling the void in your heart with random, meaningless hookups meant to placate yourself until you eventually die alone … I have to go eat an entire can of whipped cream now.