Because you can always trust a story from an anonymous source (no, you absolutely cannot) RadarOnline is reporting that Emma Stone has a sex tape that she made back before she was famous. Sure, there’s absolutely no proof whatsoever and it’s from someone who refused to divulge their identity, but shut up. If it’s on the internet, it must be true, right? No? Okay then.
“Emma Stone has a sex tape and that’s a fact,” the source told RadarOnline. “She made it long before she started dating Andrew Garfield, and before she really became a household name. She was just young and probably thought nothing would ever come of it. The tape remains in the hands of the person she made it with,” the source said. “But that doesn’t mean there’s any guarantee that it won’t eventually hit the market. The higher Emma’s star rises, the more valuable that tape becomes.”
For the record, we dug around and found a recording of the call from this “anonymous source” …
???: Yes, this is Lindsay Lohan, I’m an anomalous source.
Radar: You mean ‘anonymous?’
???: Shut up, stupid. That’s what I said. Analogous. That Emma Stone bitch that keeps stealing my thunder has a sex tape.
Radar: Do you have any proof?
???: Pfft, no, stupid. I’m an Alabama source. And also Liz Taylor. I AM LIZ TAYLOR!
Radar: Fair enough.