Paz de la Huerta is known for two things: getting drunk off her ass and for dressing like a skank. And I think there’s something about she’s an actress or something, but honestly I can’t even remember. Anyway, the bitch was invited to host the opening of a bar in New York last week, which normally would have meant seeing her stumbling around in her panties cutting bitches with broken bottles, but her people decided to suck all the fun out of it by demanding that no one serve her alcohol. RadarOnline reports:
The hotel management was given “explicit instructions” by the Boardwalk Empire beauty’s handlers not to serve to her any booze in light of her involvement in a number of alcohol-related incidents in the past, the New York Post reported. Instead, mixologist Steve Olson was brought in to create a special virgin concoction for the model/actress, who plays Lucy Danziger on HBO’s critically-acclaimed series.
If I know Paz, and I kinda do because she reminds me of my relatives, the bitch probably just snuck in a bunch of vodka-soaked tampons and spent the night getting vaginally drunk off her ass. “Oh look, here comes Aunt Flo with another round of vodka for me! Yay! *Stuff* Who wants some Bloody Marys?!” I’m not going to lie, that’s probably the single grossest joke I’ve ever written here. You’re welcome!