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Donald Trump isn’t running for President!

Donald Trump isn’t running for President!
May 16, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Donald Trump

Good news, stupid people who actually believed the self-serving lies of a delusional, narcissistic sociopath: Donald ‘Merkinhead’ Trump has announced he will not be running for president of the United States! Which was kinda sorta one of those things pretty much everyone knew, since his foreign policy boiled down to “tell other countries what to do without any actual incentive” and his one main talking point was that the current president of America wasn’t born in America, and SURPRISE, that turned out to be a flat-out lie. Yeah, who knew right?

The real estate mogul and reality TV star says: “I am not ready to leave the private sector. I will continue to voice my opinions loudly and help to shape our politician’s thoughts. My ability to bring important economic and foreign policy issues to the forefront of the national dialogue is perhaps my greatest asset and one of the most valuable services I can provide to this country,” he said. SOURCE

A bullshit press release? You know what that means: It’s time for the patented PopBytes Bullshit-To-Actual-Human-Speech translator! Let me just calibrate it to “Merkinhead douchebag”, aaaaaaaand … go.

It turns out, I have no political experience and can barely run a company without plunging it into bankruptcy three times, no less a country, and my only talking point has been forcing the president of America to prove his nationalism despite the fact that thanks to my enormous inheritance, I’ve never had to prove a single thing. I will continue to shout petty bullshit at the top of my lungs until someone pays attention to me, and my ability to be a self-serving famewhore will serve me well in my one, true calling: Being a reality television star.

Donald Trump