After Ali Lohan was photographed looking like a cackling pirate skeleton robot that had escaped from Disneyland, everyone on the Internet started freaking out about how she was basically one strong wind away from floating off into space and how someone had Mrs. Potato-Headed her a brand new pair of lips. Anyway, Dina Lohan decided to pull the usual “my daughter is completely fine” song and dance routine which obviously means Ali’s going to die soon because let’s face it, it’s Dina. Oh, and this story comes with a bonus: Lindsay Lohan “go on Twitter and make everything worse” goodness! RadarOnline reports:
“Dina is adamant though that Ali is just going through a very big growth spurt, and there is absolutely no cause for concern,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline. “If Dina thought for one moment that Ali was suffering from an eating disorder, or feeling the pressure to be thin, she would terminate Ali’s modeling contract, and get her the necessary help. “Ali is the one who has pestered her mom for years to get into the business. Dina held-off for years, but felt now the time was right for Ali to get into the business. As long as Dina isn’t concerned, Lindsay isn’t worried either.” Lindsay defended her sister on Twitter: “I love how haters pick on my sister yet every runway model is just as thin! My sister is gorgeous and I’m so proud of her and her career!!!!”
You have to love how Lindsay’s only evidence that Ali is fine is that she’s no worse for wear than all the other cocaine-snorting, laxative-eating
anorexics models she’s working with, which is almost literally like saying she’s the fattest girl in bulimics anonymous. I’m not going to believe Dina either here, because this is the same woman who told her daughter not to take a breathalyzer test when she showed up to rehab drunk off her ass because mommy needs her gin, otherwise the rape goblins come out of the earth and scream at her. And we don’t want that do we?