When we last left vapid reality famewhores Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, they had been banished to live in the cold, dark basement of the Celebrity Big Brother house (in the UK) like the inbred monster children they are. Except somehow, Spencer either got his hands on a phone or someone hacked into his Twitter account, because someone is currently douching it up on Twitter under the guise of Spencer and his magical flesh-coloured pedo-beard.
Thanks for the concern. No hacking here. Actually it’s good I found my phone. Contacts, pictures, all sorts of things some1 might want.
— Spencer Pratt(@spencerpratt) January 4, 2013
Surely, the tabloids would have a field day with the contents of my phone, their cup o’ tea. :)
— Spencer Pratt(@spencerpratt) January 4, 2013
Well, dears, it appears people suspect I am not the real Mr. Pratt. If that were so, then I would be a man with a phone to sell.
— Spencer Pratt(@spencerpratt) January 5, 2013
There are many more where that came from that I could share, given the right incentives…
— Spencer Pratt(@spencerpratt) January 5, 2013
I have a feeling that today will be a capital day! xxoo to all the fans & haters alike!
— Spencer Pratt(@spencerpratt) January 7, 2013
A couple stray observations here: First, there is no way the producers would let him tweet, since people could just send him spoilers and give him a leg-up on the competition. On the other hand, Spencer is a pathological famewhore and would gladly try and bang a kitten if he thought it would get his name into Cat Fancy magazine. (That’s a real magazine, sadly.) So let’s cut this bitch with Occam’s razor and find the truth in all this: Spencer probably snuck a phone into this house up his rectum, and is now tweeting as a means of milking his floundering pseudo-flame for all its worth. Also, glad to see Spencer is one of those assholes who spends five minutes in the UK and immediately cops the lingo for the sake of sounding worldly and travelled when he couldn’t even find his own fat ass on a map.
About Jeremy Feist
