WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Demi Moore loves (and needs) Red Bull!

Demi Moore loves (and needs) Red Bull!

Demi Moore

So having discovered that Demi Moore not only has a thing for banging young guys, but that she’s also willing to suck nitrous oxide out of an empty can of whipped cream if it’ll get her high while preserving her image as a sexy young thang, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that Demi also reportedly has an addiction to Red Bull. Because why not destroy your body as long as kids barely old enough to drink mistake you for one of their peers? As long as you’re in a dark room, anyway. TMZ reports:

Moore — a recovering addict — had cases and cases of Red Bull delivered to her home as early as 2002. Sources connected with Red Bull North America tell us … Demi was so dependent on the energy drink, the company used her to market the product. Sources from the Red Bull company tell us … the delivery schedule was frequent enough to ensure Demi was never without Red Bull. The Sun published a story today reporting … in the months before Demi was hospitalized … she was using Red Bull in place of food.

Somewhere out there, Madonna is shaking her head and thinking “that bitch” as she cracks open the neck of another 19-year-old Brazilian model with her scary gargoyle arms so that she can suck out the spinal fluids and maintain her beauty. Seriously, remember when aging with grace was a thing? Now you need to hold onto your fading youth like a fucking mountain climber clinging to the side of a cliff.

Demi Moore