Demi and Ashton weren’t legally married?

So as Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore sit on the toledo deck of the Titanic, waiting for the last possible moment to jump the sinking ship that is their marriage, well … it turns out the ship might not even exist, because a lawsuit is alleging that Demi and Ashton might not legally be married, and may have just gone through with the ceremony because People would pay $2 Million for pictures of a celebrity dog wedding. They’re that easy. Via RadarOnline:

Marc Aisen filed a lawsuit on March 29, suing Kutcher, Madonna, and other Kabbalah members for racketeering and conspiracy to engage in a pattern of racketeering activity. Aisen is representing himself in the case.

The lawsuit states: “Mr. Kutcher made a media circus out of his Kabbalah wedding to actress and hardcore Kabbalah cult member, Demi Moore, who is a longtime friend of the defendant Ms. Ciccone. As the ‘First Couple’ of organized Kabbalah, the ‘wedding’ presided over by defendant and alleged fraudster, Yehuda Berg — which I am pointing out again was not a private family affair, as all parties used it as a publicity stunt and invited media attention — was not a legal union, nor is the marriage according to California law. Nor is the myth that there is such a thing as a traditional Kabbalah wedding as I can’t seem to find evidence in any book that such a ceremony was ever performed in history. It was a way to put a glamorous face on the weird witches which is antisocial in their every manifestation.”

Aisen, who is Jewish, but not a follower of Kabbalah, began investigating the practices after claiming he designed a talisman necklace for Madonna that was worth $500. “There was one caveat to my generosity which was that I stipulated that Ms. Ciccone was to model the necklace in public and give me credit for designing it,” the docs state. Aisen says Madonna was photographed wearing the necklace but never gave him credit for it, and this is when he began “homework on the Kabbalah Center. What I found, I did not like. I learned the Kabbalah Centre is actually a militant and fanatical cult behind which is a racketeering conspiracy,” the lawsuit says.

So basically, this whole lawsuit is about how celebrities use their temporary relationships for monetary gain and attention? No shit. Christ, this would be like someone filing a lawsuit against everyone in the Playboy mansion for banging old people because being blonde is a full-time job.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Whitney Houston / Yaya Dacosta ANTM's Yaya DaCosta takes on Whitney Houston in Lifetime biopic of the singer's life OMG Blog
Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes 'literally could not be more excited' about their baby Celebitchy
Lea Michele and the Glee cast share heartfelt messages about Cory Moneith :( PopSugar
Hugh Jackman recently shaved his head to play Blackbeard in the Peter Pan movie! SOW
Zac Efron has apaprently been hooking up with Michelle Rodriguez since 2011?! The Blemish
Glee's Becca Tobin's boyfriend, Matt Bendik, was found dead in his hotel room! ICYDK
The day we all haven't been waiting for is here, Paris Hilton has a new single out Celebslam
Oh my word ... this is one red carpet fashion disaster that no one should see! Hollywood Tuna
Watch: Sexy Dolce & Gabbana models hit on you ... while they suck on helium! Oh La La
Someone tell Lindsay Lohan that talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words Evil Beet
Brody Jenner went to Reggie Bush's wedding after skipping Kim Kardashian's wedding! Dlisted