Demi and Ashton weren’t legally married?

So as Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore sit on the toledo deck of the Titanic, waiting for the last possible moment to jump the sinking ship that is their marriage, well … it turns out the ship might not even exist, because a lawsuit is alleging that Demi and Ashton might not legally be married, and may have just gone through with the ceremony because People would pay $2 Million for pictures of a celebrity dog wedding. They’re that easy. Via RadarOnline:

Marc Aisen filed a lawsuit on March 29, suing Kutcher, Madonna, and other Kabbalah members for racketeering and conspiracy to engage in a pattern of racketeering activity. Aisen is representing himself in the case.

The lawsuit states: “Mr. Kutcher made a media circus out of his Kabbalah wedding to actress and hardcore Kabbalah cult member, Demi Moore, who is a longtime friend of the defendant Ms. Ciccone. As the ‘First Couple’ of organized Kabbalah, the ‘wedding’ presided over by defendant and alleged fraudster, Yehuda Berg — which I am pointing out again was not a private family affair, as all parties used it as a publicity stunt and invited media attention — was not a legal union, nor is the marriage according to California law. Nor is the myth that there is such a thing as a traditional Kabbalah wedding as I can’t seem to find evidence in any book that such a ceremony was ever performed in history. It was a way to put a glamorous face on the weird witches which is antisocial in their every manifestation.”

Aisen, who is Jewish, but not a follower of Kabbalah, began investigating the practices after claiming he designed a talisman necklace for Madonna that was worth $500. “There was one caveat to my generosity which was that I stipulated that Ms. Ciccone was to model the necklace in public and give me credit for designing it,” the docs state. Aisen says Madonna was photographed wearing the necklace but never gave him credit for it, and this is when he began “homework on the Kabbalah Center. What I found, I did not like. I learned the Kabbalah Centre is actually a militant and fanatical cult behind which is a racketeering conspiracy,” the lawsuit says.

So basically, this whole lawsuit is about how celebrities use their temporary relationships for monetary gain and attention? No shit. Christ, this would be like someone filing a lawsuit against everyone in the Playboy mansion for banging old people because being blonde is a full-time job.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Tila Tequila Tila Tequila announced on Facebook recently that she is ten weeks pregnant! The Blemish
James Franco called a New York Times theater critic a 'little bitch' over a bad review Celebitchy
The Stupid Awards: Jessica Simpson's baby daddy Eric treats their kid like a football! Bohomoth
How cute do Mariah Carey and her hubby Nick Cannon look in their Easter costumes? SOW
Khloé Kardashian and French Montana are said to be casually dating each other! ICYDK
Cameron Diaz claims that model Kate Upton is more than just big ol' titties! Celebslam
OMG, he's naked: Big Brother Canada contestant Kenny Brain's NSFW Grindr pics! OMG Blog
Why anyone would want to use singer Selena Gomez to help sell shoes? Hollywood Tuna
Dolce&Gabbana's eyewear ads with Noah Mills, Evandro Soldati and Adam Senn Oh La La
Remember when Lindsay Lohan wrote a list of dudes she banged and we all saw it? Evil Beet
Miley Cyrus has postponed the remainder of her US Bangerz tour until August! Dlisted