Actor Daniel Craig is on the cover of GQ UK this month, which is weird because I honestly don’t know how one cover page could hold his MASSIVE BALLS. I should probably explain: in his interview with the magazine, Daniel Craig takes time out from lugging around his MASSIVE BALLS in their own solid gold wheelbarrow to call out the Kardashians and tell them, in no uncertain terms, to go f#@k themselves. Too late! Kim Kardashian already has a video of exactly that. It’s why she’s famous. Via Us Weekly:
“Look at the Kardashians, they’re worth millions. I don’t think they were that badly off to begin with, but now look at them,” he reportedly told the magazine.
“You see that and you think, ‘What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a f***ing idiot on television and then you’ll pay me millions?’
“I’m not judging it — well, I am obviously,” he reportedly added.
“I think there’s a lot to be said for keeping your own counsel,” he reportedly told British GQ. “It’s not about being afraid to be public with your emotions or about who you are and what you stand for. But if you sell it off it’s gone.
“You can’t buy it back — you can’t buy your privacy back.’ Ooh I want to be alone.’ F*** you,” he reportedly continued. “We’ve been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy?”
So what I’m taking from all of this is that Kris Jenner will be the next James Bond villain? Because I can get behind that.
Kris: We meet again Mr. Bond. Give me $50 billion or I will flood the world in d-list rapper piss.
James Bond: Oh God, what’s wrong with your face? You should not exist. Allow me to fix God’s final mistake. *Blows up the Kardashians with a watch bomb or something*
M: You saved the world from a terrorist cell of famewhores. Bang the token Bond girl during the credits!